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Weird Election Policies

With UK General Election coming up within the next week, I thought I would investigate some of the political parties policies - nice bit of alliteration there. This article is not strictly about technology, but I think you will find it rather... different to what you may expect, so please do read on!

Before I start this article I would like to make it clear that I am in no way trying to offend anyone, and am also not trying to persuade or discourage you to vote for any political party.

Death often appears in one form or another in many parties manifestos, however in some parties it is in a rather different way to others. The Cure (Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality) party is a party which tries to help get equality among the living and undead.

Here are some of the cure parties political policies:

  • Increase the minimum statutory retirement age to beyond death

  • Give the undead equal rights to the living

  • Permit marriages of the living and the undead

  • Make cemeteries more comfortable for their inhabitants

  • Implement a robust social integration programme for the undead, curing society of its prejudices
Open QuoteZombies, like students, are people too. Let's fight for their rights to politically party.Close Quote
Source: Cure Party Manifesto

Sound good? If so, you may want to vote for Cure, if not, you may find some of the other parties below more your style...

 Do you hate seeing chewing gum all over the pavements? If the answer is yes, then if you similarly hate potholes, then The New Millennium Bean Party may be the one for you. One of their proposals is to collect chewing gum from pavements and then use it to fill potholes in roads.

Another of the New Millennium Bean's policies, is that convicted drink drivers will have their cars painted bright orange, for five years after they have finish their ban and return to the wheel.

Do you think children stay at home for too long? Well the New Millennium Bean says that if they were in power, children who left home would not be allowed to return until they are 40 years old! Oh yeah, and public officials who are convicted of abuse of office would have to have their pictures printed on toilet roll packaging.

I may have brought your attention to your dream party which you did not even think existed, if so I am glad to be of assistance, if not read on for some more political party policies.

The party with one of the longest names I have ever seen "The Church of the Militant Elvis and Bus-Pass Elvis Party" has a campaigner called Dave Bishop. Some of his policies include:
  • Saving public lavatories from extinction

  • Bringing back the dog licence

  • Turning public schools into pound shops
A further party with some unusual policies is the The Monster Raving Loony Party, apart from wanting a 99p coin to save on change, some of their other policies include:

  • All socks to be sold in packs of three as a precaution against losing one

  • Adding the Loch Ness Monster to the endangered species list

  • GCSE Lottery - Before the beginning of exams, the exam board will select a certain (secret) obscure phrase. If any pupil inadvertently writes this phrase in any exam, they will automatically receive straight A* grades - and a free teddy!

  • Banning all terrorists from having beards, as they look scary

  • Dedicating pogo stick lanes on routes to centres of work

  • Regular school dinners checking for radioactivity
 The Monster Raving Loony Party Logo

I have not stated all the political parties, and should stress that there are many others, some with similar unusual policies. So if you are now interested you may want to look some up for yourself.

Thanks for reading!

Posted By: Christopher (Admin)
Date posted: 3rd May 2010

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